Stuff I Do Instead of Working

Ok, don't tell my boss about this one!

1. Write epic emails to the boyfriend about our relationship that take half the day to craft.
2. Listen to songs on the Internet, flipping obsessively to get to Amy Winehouse.
3. Tell jokes to coworkers, thereby reducing the productivity of a whole section of the office.
4. Go to the bathroom. Resentfully. A lot more often than I think is reasonable.
5. Read overdue library books.
6. Sharpen pencils.
7. Call relatives. Sometimes long distance.
8. Go to lunch. Maybe more than once.
9. Surf the net. (But then who DOESN'T do this?)
10. Leave early.

But I don't show up late any more, 'cause they told me to cut that shit out. And I take direction really well.