Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween Costumes I Never Wore

I love Halloween, I really do, but I never seem to get my costume act together. I have made some fairly elaborate costumes for the kids and even worn one of the ones I made for the first offspring (which only fit me because it was hugely too big for him). But the ones I long for with the secret unrequited lust of a lonely candy-less child peering out the front window I never have gotten to wear. Which ones are those, you ask? Well:

1. Marie Antoinette.
2. Fairy (with working wings!)
3. Bride
4. Bride of Frankenstein
5. Guinevere
6. Queen Elizabeth (the first, not the dowdy)
7. 20's Flapper
8. 50's teenager (poodle skirts! sigh)
9. Knight in Armor - but you know, a girl knight, with the metal breasts on the armor.
10. 40's Mobster's Moll
11. Sexy Pirate Wench - ok, I did once dress up as a Pirate Wench, but it wasn't satisfying.
12. Harem Dancer
13. Flamenco Dancer
14. Tango Dancer - shoot, I just want to BE a tango dancer, forget the dressing up part.
15. Ballerina
16. Xena Warrior Princess
17. Victorian Heiress - This is kind of my own invention. Fancy dresses and rhinestones r kool!
18. French Maid - Maybe this one isn't exactly for Halloween.
19. Betti Page - Umm, or sort of a dominatrix thing in general.
20. Harlequinne

I would include Cleopatra, but I dressed up as Cleo one year, and looked pretty awesome, IMHO, but I refused to wear socks which would damage the authenticity of my costume, so my mother wouldn't let me leave the house. How old was I? Eleven, maybe? Twelve? Dunno, but I wonder to this day why I didn't just tell her I'd wear them and then take the stupid things off when I got outside. Guess I wasn't so devious back then. Anyway, maybe I'd have another go at old Cleo sometime, but it's not a must. I also dressed up as a hooker one Halloween when I was a teenager, and then a couple of friends of mine and I walked around knocking on doors and saying "Trick." We got a fair amount of candy, and also several invitations to come in at adult parties, and one guy offered us a drink. Nowadays I mostly don't dress up, mostly because what's the point when you've got nowhere to go? I do love this holiday, though.