Friday, April 24, 2009

Questions I Never Get Answered

So I'm really struggling with how to change the relationship dynamic right now, and thinking about it makes me realize that even after the really long time that I've known him, there are things about the boyfriend that I just don't know. Here are some of the questions that float around in my head, either because I never asked them, or because he's never answered them:

1. Why don't you want to marry me?
2. Do you ever look at me and think I'm beautiful?
3. What are your deepest fears?
4. Do I embarrass you in front of your friends?
5. What do you think is sexy?
6. Am I good in bed?
7. Do you ever feel the desire to add more romance to our relationship?
8. What does a perfect life look like to you?
9. Do you ever want to just get in the car and drive away and never come back?
10. Have you ever thought of killing me?
11. Do you ever worry that you love me more than I love you?
12. Would you miss me if I disappeared?
13. What do you envision our relationship being 20 years from now?
14. Have you ever wanted to hit me?
15. Do you ever wish you had stayed with another person?
16. Would you ever want to have an 'open' relationship?
17. Do you ever think I'm stupid or weak?
18. What are you doing all day when I'm not with you?
19. Do you ever fantasize about me?
20. Are you ever jealous or insecure about me and other men?
21. Why don't you want to dance with me?
22. Do you ever just hate your body?
23. If you could have my brain in any body you wanted, whose would it be?
24. Do you ever wish I was more of a girly girl, or more of a fashion plate?
25. When you look at me, do you think I look old?
26. Are you worried about going grey or losing your hair?
27. Does the idea that I might stop loving you one day ever keep you awake at night?
28. If you could add one personality trait, or take one away from me, what would it be?
29. Why don't you like to tell me what you're thinking?
30. What are the questions you want to know the answers to, but never ask me?

There are more, but I think they're all kind of variations of these. And really it's all so trite and cliche, it's almost too embarrassing to post, but seriously aren't these the questions that most women want to know at some point or another in a relationship? Ok, maybe some of the ones I didn't put up aren't so normal. But how do you casually ask a guy if he'd like to handcuff you to the bed frame and torture you with a feather, some clothes pins, a jar of lemon sauce and a riding crop? "Uh, honey, you know we've never explored S&M, and I was wondering....?" Come to think of it, that's probably pretty normal, too. Freaks.

No comments: