Saturday, September 25, 2010

Animals I'd Like to Own

Sometimes I think I'd like to be one of those old cat ladies with a million cats...but then I think about the smell and I realize that it's never going to happen. Unless I get really rich. Because then I could hire someone else to clean the fifty gazillion litter boxes four or five times a day, and take all the dirty litter out and open all the windows and spray all the odor neutralizer. Come to think of it, even if I'm rich I'll probably stop at five. Or six. But that leaves so many other animals:

  1. Cats - More kinds of cats than I can even tell you, an F1 or F2 Savannah, a Japanese Bobtail, another Turkish Angora or three or ten, an Egyptian Mau, a Ragdoll, a Siamese, just about everything except those stupid looking, squashy-faced Persians, and their bitchy Himalayan decedents.
  2. Goats - Especially pygmy goats. - At least three. Maybe five. Fresh goat milk rocks, less than fresh goat milk tastes horrible.
  3. Horses - At least three. Herd animals are happier in herds.
  4. Chinchilla - They're soooo soft, and they smell good, and how cool is an animal that takes dust baths?
  5. Chickens - They have more personality than people realize, but I wouldn't want more than a few, since they're also kind of stupid and mean.
  6. Small Dogs - Particularly a Papillon, a Beagle or a Cavalier King Charles. Not anything too small, or anything too high strung. Good working dogs. I used to want a Lhasa Apso, but I decided that they're too much work.
  7. Big Dogs - Something like an African Boerboel or a Rhodesian Ridgeback. My honey's love of big, stubborn dogs is rubbing off. Weird, but true.
  8. Bullfrog - I know, but someone I know has one, and I fell in love.
  9. Rabbit - Who knew they could be litter box trained? Not me.
  10. Ferrett - But probably only for a couple of hours, because I saw someone walking one, and it looked amazingly cool. Maybe owning one is extreme.
  11. Hedgehog - It's weird, but I think they're cute and cuddly. Plus there's the thing where they run around in the balls.
  12. Sugarglider - They're marsupials, they're small, they're cute. I really want a platypus, but that's just crazy.
  13. Parrot - Or something similar. At least a conure, but preferably something colorful that might talk, but definitely cannot bite my finger off.
  14. Turtle - Because I never got to have one as a kid. And kids should have pets.
  15. Bearded Dragon - I like lizards, and honestly how cool is it to say 'yes, this is my pet dragon.' Plus, they apparently like interacting with humans.

I'm going to stop now, because when I hit the snakes this list will just get plain weird. I like animals. I do. I'm realistic enough to recognize that I probably won't own half of the ones that I want, but I'll keep buying lottery tickets, and hoping.

1 comment:

Chaia said...

I want a million tiny ridiculous dogs to own & name them names such as "colonel tweaker mc finster the third" or like "king ding ding" hahahaha