Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Reasons I Should Break Up With My Boyfriend

So I've been in this relationship for a long time, and at some point I got really comfortable, or no not comfortable, maybe just tired and despondent and a little cowardly. And the truth is that it's not going anywhere, and hasn't been for years. And I managed to complicate it unbelievably by having a kid, too. So I'm doing a little free therapy here, trying to convince myself that it's time to make a graceful exit (or past time):

  1. He still doesn't know if he wants to marry me after 10 years.

  2. He doesn't like chocolate.

  3. He doesn't have a job, or a car, and doesn't have immediate plans to get either.

  4. He's over 30 and has never moved out of his parents' house.

  5. I want to have sex more often than once a week.

  6. He thinks that relationships should just magically work themselves out.

  7. Everyone else is more important to him than I am.

  8. I feel sad and lonely when we're together.

  9. We don't have the same priorities in life.

  10. I hate making all the decisions about what to eat or, where to go or what to do.

  11. He thinks coming to the table for family dinner is optional.

  12. There's never a good time to talk to him.

  13. I shouldn't let my relationship decisions be dictated by a child, even mine.

  14. He's never happy to see me.

  15. I'm never happy to see him.

  16. We don't have the same taste in furniture.

  17. I want him to (X-rated content here) and he's not interested.

  18. I also want him to (more x-rated content) and he does, but so infrequently it's not worth it.

  19. He likes big, boxy houses, and I like old Victorians.

  20. He doesn't understand the difference between doing things with me and doing them for me.

  21. He thinks he understands me, but he doesn't.

I think that about covers it. Will I break up with him? Probably not. I've wasted my best years on this story, I think I'm entitled to see how it ends.

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